All posts by jemurdock

Image Leave a comment

eternalasdflgasms:

majesticaljeff:

iamtonysexual:

horus-zahak:

biggggblack:

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH

WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS

I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT

FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

image

THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FUCKER SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

image

rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

image

IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF

I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

image

i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.

IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER

0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

I FUCKING AM CHOKING AND PEEING AND DYING OF LAUGHTER I JUST FUCKING CAN’T RIGHT NOW. PLEASE REVIVE ME SWEET LORD.

This post is my life force

note to self: make an audio post of this

It is 1am and i am going to wake my entire house from laughing

My only friend thinks I’m crazy because it’s been silent for 20 minutes and then I start dying of laughter and it’s 2am

Gallery Leave a comment

valinwhore:

Mairon finally satisfies his curiosity and makes a rather interesting discovery in the under-construction depths of Utumno..

high res

higher res (deviantart)

[[ Thank you all for being such awesome readers and for your patience over the hiatus– we’re back to a more regular schedule! ]]

EDIT: I regret to say that this is the last installment. It would’ve been amazing to see it all the way to the end, but the future pages just weren’t giving me what I wanted from the story anymore, the last couple were hard to find the motivation for, and Part 15 proved impossible. I’m sorry to those that followed it in-process and to new readers because it was a lot of fun for the better part of a year and your enthusiasm was incredibly touching. I still adore the pairing and saw this monstrous comic as kind of a prologue to all of the other stuff I’d like to do with it, so I hope you hang around if you enjoyed reading! Thank you so much ❤️

Conclusion explanation

[Part 1]  

[Part 2]  

[Part 3]  

[Part 4]  

[Part 5]  

[Part 6]  

[Part 7]  

[paPart 8]  

[Part 9]  

[Part 10]  

[Part 11]  

[Part 12]  

[Part 13]  

[Part 14]  [Part 15 half-finished first panel, if you’re interested]

Leave a comment

sauronkhamulmaniac:

turcafinwe-tyelkormo:

russandolly:

atariince:

atariince:

atariince:

There are so many cats on my dashboard rn, Curufin just wants to lay down and let them climb on him and snuggle.

Also can you imagine stepping into a room and finding this huge Noldo lying on the ground, with like 17 kittens sleeping and walking on him? And he would just be lying there, immobile and silent.

Person; Curufinwë, what are you–?

Curufin: Shhhhhh.

Person: But–

Curufin: Kitties…

Him and Caranthir have cat sessions where they get together to lay on the ground and be run over by kitties for a couple of hours. It’s a great source of stress relief for both of them.

Tyelko joins and makes cat sounds, translates what the cats say (with questionable trustworthiness and honesty)

*tears of laughter* and the twins come in to act like cats as well for the rare opportunity of stomping on their brothers.