prackspoor:

pearl-of-lys:

Middle Earth was supposed to be an origin myth for Britain, so I highly encourage we consider elven accents and their closest British equivalent.

Vanyar – Irish: It’s so lovely, you just want to hug them. Ingwë and Indis just talk and all heads turn so they can listen. Indis’s kids have a slight tinge to their accents because of it, and sometimes, Findis goes full-Irish just because she can. (None of her other siblings are as good at it as she is). And if there’s a Vanya nearby, they are going to get nominated as the evening’s story teller. No matter what.

Falmari – Yorkshire: It’s very thick and difficult to understand when they talk too quickly, but it’s also warm and beautiful and normally quite understandable. They tend to talk loudly, which is all a part of the charm. It’s also very, very hard to lose once you get it. Eärwen keeps her beautiful accent even after she moves to Tirion and all of her children have distorted versions of it.

Noldor – Scottish: Half the reason they get into so many fights is that no one can understand what they’re saying. Finwë’s house has the “posh” version, so they’re a little easier to understand than your average Noldo, but still. It gets like 10x harder when they’re angry. This also became a problem on the battlefield when Fingon was trying to command Sindar troops, too, and they weren’t quite sure whether they’d heard him correctly. But it is still glorious. After the ban, a lot of the Noldor try to take on the Sindar accent, but only with varying success. (For instance, Maedhros and Maglor could hide their accents 99% of the time, but whenever they got frustrated, their burr would come out and Elrond and Elros thought it was so funny, so they’d start leaving toys around for the Fëanorians to trip on just to hear it. Celebrían and, later, Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen would do the same thing to Galadriel).

Sindar – Posh Southern English: It’s why we see it in the movies, seeing as how by the end of the Third Age, most elves were Sindar or had been influenced by the Sindar accent for so long. It was very pretty, although the exiles totally teased it for being dainty.

Silvan – Welsh: This is also why the English accent is considered the only Elven accent. A lot of people couldn’t tell the difference between the Silvan and Sindar accents, but if you dared to say they were the same thing in front of a Silvan elf, you would be met with a fierce flurry of incomprehensible words. “THEY ARE DIFFERENT AND OURS IS BETTER” is a very common and completely accurate statement among the Silvan. 

The First Age, as I understand it from this post:

The Noldor are now wearing kilts and throwing logs at their enemies.

Every battle against Morgoth is now a tavern brawl.

The reason for said fights are no longer Silmarils, but three very fine sheep Melkor stole from them.

The Oath to reclaim the sheep was spoken in such heavy Glaswegian that no one but Fëanor and his sons have any idea what’s actually been said. Everyone else assumes it was about some proposal for the Noldor to forfeit their independence and join Morgoth’s empire. Also, the Oath is now 50% cusswords. This doesn’t matter, because no one caught that either.

first-son-of-finwe:

sindar-princeling:

on a scale from 0 to “sounds like something Fëanor would say“ how bad is your idea

On a scale from “I release thee and remember no grievance” to “let the ships burn,” how bad is your idea?