The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”
it got better
It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like
You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them
And there is literally no common sense
Anywhere to be found
Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve
Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up
The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.
But, but, but, you know the one person
the one person
who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?
Severus Snape.
Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.
‘Severus, he is my cousin.’
And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it
That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’
and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’
a concept: Harry Potter with his mother’s hair and father’s eyes instead of vice versa.
Harry with fiery dark red hair and soft hazel eyes please and thank you
i imagine this is how harry and draco’s first meeting would have gone then haha
can you imagine how much more confused arthur would have been in that scene where he first meets harry 😂
his eyes would probably sweep right over harry at the breakfast table, and then he would freeze and have to do a mental tally of his children
I can see Fred and George really going with it too…
“Come on Dad, don’t you remember Harry?” “Next you’ll tell us you don’t remember Craig” “Or Ethel” “Or Annie“ “Or Ryan”
You know why Harry Potter is amazing? 99% of fan theories, headcanons and meta could be canon because Harry is about as observant as a brick wall. Did Slytherins come back to fight in the Battle of Hogwarts? Did Draco Malfoy enjoy crossdressing? Was Hermione transgender? Who knows, certainly not Harry
Harry didn’t notice Hermione time traveling around him for a whole year or his own teacher’s hand writing
Harry didn’t notice that he was a wizard
The glass is just gone I don’t know maybe that just happens with snakes sometimes.
I wish I knew the exact time and date that harry told snape ‘there’s no need to call me sir professor’ so that I could take a moment of silence to remember the moment each year
Judging from the context of the chapter…
We know that it’s September 2nd. I’d put it between 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM. (They have breakfast and then a free period. They have Snape’s class before their break, which was before their lunch.)
But in the UK first period typically only starts at 9 AM. So free period from around 9-10 AM and Snapes class from 10-11 AM I’d say.
Okay so 10am-11am every September 2nd is now an hour dedicated to remembering the most glorious piece of dialogue ever spoken by a fictional character
ok this just appeared on my blog with ample time for you all to prepare because apparently I stumbled across it months ago, and scheduled it to post on september first. executive function TRIUMPH!!!!!!!
Worth noting that tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of the greatest burn in history
Mashups and Exports 