gaycaspian:

gaycaspian:

gaycaspian:

gaycaspian:

the lay of leithian makes a lot more sense if you imagine it as a
dungeons and dragons-style tabletop rpg game between a group of
dangerously eager players and an increasingly frazzled DM

“something about the orcs’ demeanor seems…suspicious”

“okay. sauron, roll for a perception check.”

“dude, come on, his nickname is literally ‘The Great Eye’, that’s not fair -”

“finrod, beren, roll for charisma”

*groans amid rattling of dice*

“the werewolf licks his jaws, which are dripping with gore and saliva. he tenses, as if to spring -”

“I FIGHT THE WEREWOLF”

“finrod, you’re chained up. you don’t have any weapons.”

“I FIGHT THE WEREWOLF WITH MY BARE HANDS”

*sigh* “roll for constitution”

“i use my musical abilities to seduce the dark lord!”

“luthien, you can’t just seduce the dark – nat twenty???

…alright, i guess you can seduce the dark lord.”

[some time later]

“luthien, i know it worked before, but this is the god of death, singing him to sleep just isn’t going to work this – nat twenty again, are you fucking serious -”