ive been playing skyrim nonstop lately help
Tag Archives: skyrim
Skyrim guard: wait…I know you
Me, 300 pounds over encumbered with stolen cheese wheels and solid dwemer metal, waddling by: you don’t know shit bitch
thoughts on the Elder Scrolls races
NORDS:
- V I K I N G S
- probably eat nails for breakfast
- without milk
- seriously though these guys have some issues with people drinking milk
- their fashion sense is basically strapping as many dead animals to themselves as they can
- punch each other for funsies
- resolve polictical conflict by via shouting contest
ALTMER:
- commonly called high elves because they’re so fucking tall
- fab
- superiority complex
- do not engage in magical combat with them because you will lose
- will not rest until they have complained about everything
BOSMER:
- smol
- chillest of the elven races
- outdoor enthusiasts
- archery skills to rival legolas
- won’t eat their vegetables
KHAJIIT:
- furry
- Khajiit likes to speak about themselves in 3rd person
- nomads
- it’s not breaking the law if no one sees you doing it
- their hands are their weapons. no seriously they got claws
- their king is chosen by the moons. I’m serious
IMPERIALS:
- like building empires
- not very good at running empires
- rich bitches
- still sad because they lost sir patrick steward and his son sean bean
- slapfights with the altmer 24/7
- longing for the day when they will get their shit together
DUNMER:
- Edgelords™
- their eyes are red their skin is blue they’ll probably set fire to you
- ghost whisperer(s)
- their gods tend to hold grudges
- seriously dont piss of their gods they will fuck you over
- kind of in a bad place after most of their homeland literally exploded
BRETONS:
- politics
- will sell you for one cornchip
- kind of the elves’ unwanted bastard child
- secretly really good at magic
- don’t like their rural cousins in the Reach very much
REDGUARDS:
- will knock you on your butt
- P I R A T E S
- What’s that? You wanna invade their homeland? I’m sorry your authority isn’t recognized in Fort Kickass
- wanna see a magic trick?
- no
- no they don’t
ARGONIANS:
- lizard
- can breathe underwater
- history of getting fucked over by the dunmer
- tree huggers
- i still dont understand why their women got tiddies. but they do
- maids: lusty
ORISMER:
- mean green killing machines
- literally trained from birth to hand your ass to you
- isolate themselves a ot
- not that they have to try because they get shit from literally everyone
- master smiths
- their god may be a bit of a dick sometimes but he looks out for his people
- resting bitchface
http://a.tumblr.com/tumblr_mkldbwCFEZ1rdg3auo1.mp3?plead=please-dont-download-this-or-our-lawyers-wont-let-us-host-audio
https://daydreamingaboutmyadventure.tumblr.com/post/122008128604/audio_player_iframe/daydreamingaboutmyadventure/tumblr_mkldbwCFEZ1rdg3au?audio_file=http%3A%2F%2Fa.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_mkldbwCFEZ1rdg3auo1.mp3
Pirates of the Caribbean/Skyrim Mashup by flipboit4midles.
(Bask in the awesomeness of this.)
Oh
My
God
HOLY SHIT
i literally threw my computer across the loveseat when i heard this. its so epicly beautiful.
Excuse me, I have to go embark on a quest. I don’t know to what end but I have a ferocious need to be a badass.
How come I never heard this before? Holy hell.






