i just wanted you guys to know theres a porn parody of the force awakens and just when this storm trooper dude starts feeling this bitch up, kylo came in and started doing his usual tantrum shit in the background unprovoked, meanwhile oblivious to all thats happening and let me tell you no porn has ever cut me so off guard and brought me to tears in .01 seconds until now
i love that when poe says “that droid has a map that leads straight to luke skywalker” finn says “oh you gotta be kidding me”, implying he knows exactly who luke is and that he’s important. i love that when finn mentions luke to rey she says “luke skywalker??? i thought he was a myth” implying she knows exactly who luke is and that he’s important. i love that luke skywalker is a legend, a myth, a celebrity. do you think he has fans
I like to think that not only is he famous but that because he’s so elusive he’s actually reached cryptid status in the star wars universe. people host parties when a new blurry photograph comes out, get into debates over whether he really exists or not, skywalker-sighting hotspots are full of tourists and conspiracy theorists wearing shirts with a lightsaber on that say ‘I want to believe’ in block capitals.
there’s a popular show where three guys run around the deserted places on various planets that have reported “Skywalker sightings”
it’s mostly just them interviewing crazy yokels who claim they saw Luke Skywalker eating leaves somewhere then going out in the dark and scaring themselves shitless claiming they hear lightsaber noises
Leia hasn’t missed an episode since it began airing
I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. the heroes are always sprinting, always running. you ever seen darth vader run? hell no. and I ain’t about to either.
this has gained over 18,000 notes in the last 24 hours and I feel the need to tell y’all that I’ve never seen a star wars movie all the way through. when I wrote this I was 100% relying on the hope that he didn’t run in the films or some nerd was gonna drag my ass