Just as the Mayans predicted, the apocalypse came with the signal of a cough.
these middle schoolers read better than my high school honors english class
I REALLY HAVE TO REBLOG THIS IM SORRY THE FUCKING TEACHER
“Stop being dead right now”
That’s the reaction of an adult who delights in what you just did, but is in the position of Enforcing The Rules, so they have to tell you to stop anyway
Every time I see that glee face he gets its like “fine I guess I’ll reblog”
the lay of leithian makes a lot more sense if you imagine it as a
dungeons and dragons-style tabletop rpg game between a group of
dangerously eager players and an increasingly frazzled DM
“something about the orcs’ demeanor seems…suspicious”
“okay. sauron, roll for a perception check.”
“dude, come on, his nickname is literally ‘The Great Eye’, that’s not fair -”
“finrod, beren, roll for charisma”
*groans amid rattling of dice*
“the werewolf licks his jaws, which are dripping with gore and saliva. he tenses, as if to spring -”
“I FIGHT THE WEREWOLF”
“finrod, you’re chained up. you don’t have any weapons.”
“I FIGHT THE WEREWOLF WITH MY BARE HANDS”
*sigh* “roll for constitution”
“i use my musical abilities to seduce the dark lord!”
“luthien, you can’t just seduce the dark –nat twenty???
…alright, i guess you can seduce the dark lord.”
[some time later]
“luthien, i know it worked before, but this is the god of death, singing him to sleep just isn’t going to work this – nat twenty again, are you fucking serious -”
I’ve never been a big fan of elves (with the exception of what Dragon Age has been doing lately from a lost culture/identity aspect) but the Shadow of Mordor series has actually sparked my interest via the shitty attitude of one backseat driving wraith.
Mashups and Exports 