kanafinwhy:

valarhalla:

Ok though do you ever think about how weird it is that, we know elves consider hair super sexual because Tolkien said so, right? it’s literally their primary sexual characteristic. But they also name their children after their hair colour, and all they ever go on about is hair. TLDR this is the most solid argument there is again against elves being prudish, because like, THEY BASICALLY NAME ALL THEIR CHILDREN THE INWORLD EQUIVALENT OF “BIGGUS DICKUS” AND OH MY GOD WHAT IF THE ENTIRE SILM IS JUST ELF EROTICA THAT MISTAKEN FOR SERIOUS LITERATURE BECAUSE THE TWO M’S NEVER GAVE ELROND THE ELVEN SEX TALK

Okay this is the best thing ever. But like. The implications of this O___O I’m thinking

•  Lúthien cutting off her hair to make a rope is just. incredibly kinky
•  same with Glorfindel being dragged down to his death by the HAIR
•  When Elrond learned this (probably from Maglor, eventually) he went back and censored Glofindel out of the canon version of the Silmarillion IMMEDIATELY because WOW NSFW, SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN THIS IS WHY CLOSED ADOPTION IS A TERRIBLE IDEA